Every time I go to church I sense… she’s here.
She’s crying out to God, feeling alone in the midst of the crowd, and wondering and fearing about what might happen.
Broken hearted, she hopes her husband will want to do something with her (for them), but she can’t even put into words what she wants.
It gets all too emotional when she talks.
The pain is so great she can’t be objective
If she brings it up, the conversation turns into another cycle of confusion, rejection and more hurt.
Why doesn’t she know how to talk to him… anymore?
What would she even say if everything was just right to be heard?
How can she get herself ready to have the most important talk of her life?
If having a more meaningful relationship is your hope and dream here are some must have tips.
- Recognize that God is your source in every way. I love thinking of the comfort and refuge He provides in Psalms 91 as I pull up my own comforter and snuggle in bed. “Ahhh…” I’m hiding under the shadow of His wing.
- Create a new pattern of listening to your thoughts… when you aren’t in stress. Identify your feelings and recognize what events trigger both pleasant and uncomfortable feelings. Be a student of yourself, so you can better share what’s going on inside.
- Prioritize the concerns you need to communicate. Consider the best setting (free of distractions, agreeable by both) and set the tone with beverages or snacks of choice. Be calm and frame your words with “I feel _____ when ____ happens and I’d rather feel _______.”
There are many other communication tips, but this is a great foundation.
When distance and damage in an emotional connection drains you in every area of your life, you will have to intentionally address the hurt and develop new ways to connect. Although it may feel awkward and unnatural at first, you can create loving ways to feel close… again.