Bust the Quarantine Crazies


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“2020 marks the highest spike in online learning.” Do you think that’s the headline we’ll read in a few years? 

Yes, we have some extra time and togetherness on our hands right now. It has a huge impact on your everyday life.  But, if you get caught up in the frenzy, you might re-waken past resentments. Or you could learn new relationship tools, and come out closer and stronger.

What you do determines your outcome.

Follow the learning trend. Get the marriage you wanted, when you said: I Do.

Apply these tips:

1. It’s NOT about you.

Of course, your feelings and needs matter. What I’m saying is, when your spouse blows up over business closings, the stock market, or the kid’s homeschool stuff everywhere, that’s NOT a slam directed towards you. He is just releasing his anxiety in your direction. (You might be doing the same thing.)  

2. Their point counts.

You have a unique lens in which to see the world. So does your spouse. The things that upset them (hoarding TP), are just as valid as your own ideas. Give them space and affirm their concerns and worries. They will feel safer. This opens the door to even deeper and closer communication. 

3. Set a boundary.

Social Distancing is now a part of our new normal. It’s the perfect visual for emotional distancing. I’m not talking about self-protecting with walls. But not every need your spouse shares is up to you to fix. Choose what you receive and what you give (emotionally) based on levels of trust and respect.  

  

We can turn this situation around.

Genesis 50:20 highlights the story of Joseph and his brothers. He experienced many trials at their hands. They worried he would turn on them. Instead, He said, “what you meant for evil, God used for good.” We are looking for God’s goodness in the quarantine time.   

Your relationship CAN come out closer and stronger.  

Remember:

  • You don’t have to do this in your own strength.

  • God’s love is your source.

  • Draw on Him for Limitless Intimacy.   

Boundaries: How to NOT be Influenced by Someone Who is NOT in Your Safe Circle


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It happens. Times with family. Acquaintances who are pushy. Fan crush without the relationship.

Use this Boundary Checklist to see whose words have permission to affect your heart.

Boundary Checklist

1. Do you have a history of a good relationship?

2. Do you trust they have your best interest in mind?

3. Is it a two-way street; you both give and receive?

4. Do you have similar values?

5. Do they walk in integrity?      

If the answer is NO to 3 or more, find a loving way to NOT receive their information and/or influence.

Try these “I hear you, but…” replies.

Gentle Redirections   

1. Thank you for thinking of me.

2. I appreciate your time to connect.

3. It’s kind of you to reach out to me.

4. I’m seeking what God wants to do in this.

5. I hear what you’re saying.

6. I’m looking for the BIG picture.

7. There are many ways to handle the situation.

8. There are lots of layers to this.

9. I’m not in a rush about anything.

10. Thank you for sharing.

REMEMBER, they want to engage you.

If you start reacting to the thoughts they shared, you will get drawn in. Then, it becomes confusing. It seems like you want to receive MORE. They will misunderstand it.

Your BEST plan is to relay a single comment, excuse yourself, and WALK AWAY. You must exit. You must LEAVE the conversation. That is the toughest part, but it is the most honoring to you both.  

Walk away to clearly set the tone.

Allow into your heart and life, the words and actions you trust. The safe circles can change and be adjusted at times, but it always includes relationships based on respect.

Upgrade Your Sex Life Book Study Week 4


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Dr. Douglas Weiss bookends this work with ground-breaking insight. To open, he describes the 5 sexual expressions: Fun, Desire, Pleasure, Patience, and Acceptance/Celebration. (You have to read the other blogs to find out which one I renamed.) To end this book, he compares the development of a sexual adult, sexual adolescent and a sexual child. These are not physical age groups, but emotional ages. It’s absolutely fascinating and eye-opening. Again, these descriptions will help you so much as you lean into objective conversations to gain understanding with your spouse.

Let’s dive in!

Did you know you not only CAN ask your spouse for sex, but it’s also very helpful and empowering when you do. But, it’s often avoided because of so much clutter in our cultural practices. Truly, if you never learn it’s okay (even GOOD) then you probably have not learned HOW.

The bottom line is: Unspoken is Unclear

How do you ASK for sex?

1. Use “I” statements (I’d like to be intimate, fool around, make love, have sex…)

2. Be clear (Don’t ask: do you want to go upstairs?)

3. Use eye contact (especially while you are practicing this skill.)

How do you RESPOND to the ask?

1. Don’t stay neutral. (okay, fine, sure)

2. Be positive (Great! Awesome! You bet! Love to!)

Now that you know HOW, whose responsibility is it to ask?

Sexless marriages often happen because couples get stuck in a cycle of hurt-distance-busy-cool down-talk-sex. That can be extremely frustrating, especially if the cycle takes weeks. That’s a lot of time for resentment to build – and temptations to meet needs in other ways.

In the meantime, the negative self-talk goes crazy: I feel rejected, unwanted, ugly and fat! Why go there when you don’t have to?

There is NO one right person to do all of the initiating. It’s just what you both agree upon.

And now for the finale, the other ground-breaking bookend.

Sexual Interaction on Different Developmental Levels

Development as a Sexual Adult

1. Accepts themselves, is comfortable in who they are ALL day, not just when the clothes come off

2. Able to be sensitive to partner

3. Maintains and protects integrity in the marriage (no outside parties)

Development as a Sexual Adolescent

1. Mostly in it for ‘me’ and not ‘us’

2. Unaware of their partner’s needs, desires or sexual expression

3. Gets mad over having to have sex, being expected to have sex, when they can’t have sex (due to the partner’s illness, pregnancy, etc.)

4. Conversations are immature, almost like cheap locker room talk

Development as a Sexual Child

1. Don’t see themselves as a sexual being, it’s something they have to do

2. Rarely initiate sex

3. Rarely talk about sex

When it comes to initiating sex, here’s what you need to know.

NOT initiating communicates:

I tolerate sex. I don’t need sex. I don’t want you. You’re fat (or some other negative message.)

Whereas, initiating sex says:

I am wanted. I am attractive. I am valued. I am important. I turn them on. They matter.

Wow! What a difference!

If you want your spouse to feel loved, initiate sex. Bottom line. 

Your Personal Pushback

Petrified? That’s the most common feeling when talking about sex. Maybe you are truly interested in learning more, but it just makes you uncomfortable. You know it’s stirring up lots of memories and mixed feelings. The thought of really diving deep (no matter who much you need to) is more than you can do on your own. It’s going to be okay. That’s what I’m here for.

I once was in your shoes, stuck in a cycle of sexual dysfunction. All of the components were there- other people’s behavior, mixed messages from the church, and my own low sense of myself. I was a mess for sure.

Father God walked me through a process of healing. I went from feeling invisible to living out loud. I can help you on your journey, too, as a woman or as a couple. Together, we can find your way to being heard, understood and loved.

Don’t let your past rob your future.

Set up a call today to see how you can Upgrade Your Sex Life, in a holistic way- spirit, soul and body. https://calendly.com/mary-19/relationship-breakthrough-session

Upgade Your Sex Life Book Study 3


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Dr. Douglas Weiss’ book is nothing short of groundbreaking! Not only do the 5 sexual expressions (Fun, Desire, Pleasure, Patience/Gentleness, and Accept/Celebrate) provide objective descriptions, but there’s more support to find out WHY strains of immaturity are present. That’s today’s topic: Roadblocks.

Who Does This Apply To

There are some clarifications needed before the roadblocks are addressed. First of all, these roadblocks are not about interpersonal communication, meaning joint issues for both spouses. Second, if you recognize your own story here, take action. Third, if this seems to be your spouse, be supportive. Fourth, if your spouse does not take action, be ready to seek your own support to know how to manage your part of the marriage. Lastly, Roadblocks are typically from before your current relationship/marriage. Therefore, you are neither the cause nor the cure. 

Roadblock #1: Abuse

Abuse looks like MORE than the normal bumps of childhood. It can fall on either extreme: intentional and physical harm or neglect, even to withhold medical care. Parents themselves may be immature, addicted or suffer a mood disorder. In my words, they may be repeating how there saw their own parents react.

In an emotional setting, parents may create an environment that isn’t safe for sharing feelings or being honest. They may not support the uniqueness of their child… you. This can be communicated verbally (ridicule, control) or nonverbally (silence, avoidance).

Sexual abuse causes feelings of worthlessness, shame, fear, lack of trust, and compensation through over performing and over-giving. I’d add ‘over-explaining, over-apologizing, and overly taking responsibility for faults and tasks that are not your own’.

Sexual abuse also affects sexual behavior on both extremes; from hypersexual to diminished desire to totally disconnected, even a fantasy or blank state of mind. 

Sexual neglect towards a child or adolescent looks like NOT providing appropriate information and education on ~body changes, ~the meaning of sex, ~the standards of your family or culture, and ~the relational aspects of sex, i.e. we show love and commitment as a husband ad wife in our marriage through sexual intimacy. 

If the effects of sexual abuse is NOT addressed it will: LIMIT how you give and receive Inside and Outside the BEDROOM.

Roadblock #2 Addiction

All addictions rob the emotional, spiritual and moral development. All addictions rob the emotional, spiritual and moral development. All addictions rob the emotional, spiritual and moral development.

That is worth repeating. It doesn’t matter if it’s alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, or shopping. The addict:

·         Emotes like a 13-15 year-old

·         Can’t define right from wrong

·         Cant’ take responsibility (for self)

·         Lives in a fantasy world

·         Thinks they can do as they please, without consequences

But in recovery, after moving from immature to healthy, they can connect and have even greater sex!

Sexual Addiction

·         Limits the ability to be authentic

·         Includes pornography, masturbation, sexting and hookups

·         Causes comparison which creates dissatisfaction

It can bring about:

·         Betrayal (there’s a struggler and a partner)

·         STDs

·         Job loss, financial loss

·         Erosion of family

Roadblock #3 Anorexia

Although we typically think of this term in regards to an eating disorder of withholding food, Dr. Weiss has coined a term, intimacy anorexia.  One partner withholds emotional, spiritual or sexual intimacy. The partner feels alone, disconnected, unnoticed, and unwanted.

How does it happen? Distance is created by:

·         Being busy – with work, kid’s projects, even helping at church

·         Speaking blame – I’m doing these things because of you

·         Withholding love and praise

In general, this partner is UNABLE to share feelings with their partner. In general, this partner is UNABLE to share feelings with their partner. In general, this partner is UNABLE to share feelings with their partner.

Yes, this is also worth repeating. This kind of distance is NOT just a certain personality type that has a problem opening up. It is also NOT because they don’t know how or they are afraid. It is an intentional withholding.

It may be the most noticeable in:

·         Criticism

·         Anger/Silence

·         Money usage that is manipulated

·         Roommate Status – with no blow-ups, but also no closeness

Ho w to Resolve

I disagree strongly with Dr. Weiss on how to bring recovery to this issue. I won’t even state his suggestions. I employ 5 R’s to bring healing.

1. Recognize impact (You have to acknowledge what is happening.)

2. Release lies/wounds (Your identity and value has been jeopardized by this hurt.)

3. Replace with God’s Truth (You can choose what God promises and the love HE has for you.)

4. Restore wholeness (You create a new lifestyle of choices that honor you.)

5. Reclaim identity (You see and receive the power and blessing of being God’s child.) 

Your Power in Your Sexual Intimacy

Learning how to be responsible for what you want in your sex life, what asking for sex looks like (in a healthy way), and applying practical phrases for being a clear communicator are the last thoughts we’ll cover. This is the practical application of the entire book. Don’t miss next week’s video or blog!

 Your Personal Pushback

Petrified? That’s the most common feeling when talking about sex. Maybe you are truly interested in learning more, but it just makes you uncomfortable. You know it’s stirring up lots of memories and mixed feelings. The thought of really diving deep (no matter who much you need to) is more than you can do on your own. It’s going to be okay. That’s what I’m here for.

I once was in your shoes, stuck in a cycle of sexual dysfunction. All of the components were there- other people’s behavior, mixed messages from the church, and my own low sense of myself. I was a mess for sure.

Father God walked me through a process of healing. I went from feeling invisible to living out loud. I can help you on your journey, too, as a woman or as a couple. Together, we can find your way to being heard, understood and loved.

Don’t let your past rob your future.

Set up a call today to see how you can Upgrade Your Sex Life, in a holistic way- spirit, soul and body. https://calendly.com/mary-19/relationship-breakthrough-session

 

 

 

I thought I was Unlovable.


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My dad left when I was 12, but had been emotionally gone for years before that. My mom was super caring and giving to what seemed like the entire city, but never let her walls down to be close to me.

I just wanted somebody to really KNOW me and SEE me and WANT to be with me.

So, it would come as no surprise to hear I dated… A LOT! I was looking for attention and affirmation and validation for who I was.

I was a Christian and really loved God, but this whole concept of knowing your IDENTITY in Christ just wasn’t a part of my inner life.

And then I got married.

I had all of those same NEEDS. I had incredible high EXPECTATIONS for a Christian marriage. I was completely lacking in communication and relationship SKILLS.

Add to that my former husband’s addiction to pornography and it’s easy to see how BROKENNESS grew in me over the years.

The intimacy I completely ACHED for was nowhere to be found. I began to think it wasn’t real and would NEVER be a part of my life.

I thought, “Why don’t you LOVE me? What’s WRONG with me? When will I finally be good ENOUGH for you?”

My pain was primarily caused by feeling I WASN’T loved. My healing began when I desperately leaned into God to meet that unspoken NEED.

~I didn’t know how to trust Him.
~I doubted that I was worth it.
~I wanted to believe that He wanted me personally.

And eventually, by His tender care, it happened. I finally felt truly and completely loved.

*The key to my healing and wholeness was in UNDERSTANDING that the enemy had been sending me lies all of those years. He was the one telling me I was rejected and abandoned. Every time I believed those lies, I was REINFORCING them.888

God’s truth was not just that I was accepted by Him. It was that I was Chosen and Valued by Him. He raised my inner status to that of a much-loved and beautiful daughter. When I internalized His message of TRUTH, everything CHANGED for me and how I saw myself.

~That’s how I was able to go from a broken shell of a woman to someone who actually LOVES herself.

~That’s how I was able to RECOGNIZE, ATTRACT and SUSTAIN a beautiful connection of intimacy with my husband today.

That’s why I do what I do.

Healthy intimacy, in every way, is God’s design for you. The healing and wholeness that HE BROUGHT to me, HE can BRING to you also,

Don’t give up! You are LOVABLE! The new you is on the way!

What Does it Feel Like to be Truly Known?


I never expected this to happen while we were sitting in the parking lot.

I remember the exact moment I felt truly known. We were just dating at the time, but his question touched me at the core. At first, I was surprised and if I’m honest, I was temporarily indignant, but then I got the whole picture.

What was the question that rocked my world?

My boyfriend asked me, “Why don’t you get your nails done?” I know. KInda odd for a guy to notice, right? But he’s no ordinary guy! 😉 And I think God was speaking through him at that moment.

My immediate response was to describe the lifestyle of a graduate student. I was finishing my masters degree while working full time.

But I knew there was more to it than that.

I had not made manicures an act of self-care. Not just because of time and money restrictions. No, it was because of my lack of self-value. I didn’t think I was worth that ‘luxury’. I would pursue fitness goals and things that made me feel strong, but doing something extra for myself, ‘just because’ was simply not on my radar.       

He pushed back, not satisfied with my answer. So I began to open up. I told him about how invisible I had felt. That others were not giving me special attention so I basically took their (small) view of me as my own.

And then, the tears started.

He saw me as deserving of manicures… and MORE! That everything about me communicated dignity and beauty and having my nails done would be merely ‘the icing on the already wonderful cake’.

Wow! Right down to my core I felt a bit exposed and definitely uncomfortable, but it seemed to be okay instead of too scary. I trusted him. I liked who I was when I was with him.   It was a challenge to take in this new perspective, but it felt…

… full of life and hope, and everything I’d been longing for.

As it turns out, Christmas wasn’t that far away and he gave me a gift certificate for the works at a nearby nail salon. And… as you might have guessed, I’ve been going back ever since.  

To be known and loved starts with knowing and loving yourself, first.

I am so passionate about this belief that my entire life’s work revolves around it. It is foundational to everything else I do.

That’s why I am excited to be hosting:

“Totally You & Totally Loved: Women’s Personal Growth Workshop”

on Thursday, February 28th, from 6-8 pm at 8825 Perimeter Park Blvd Unit 503 Jacksonville, FL 32216.

What’s it all about?

Discovering your God-given identity (and value) so you can create more confidence and connection in your relationships. Check out the details here: https://totallyyou-totallyloved.eventbrite.com 

If you’re in the Jacksonville area, I’d love to have you join us. In the meantime, get your nails done.

How a Bible Study on Esther Exposed a Surprising Layer of Hurt


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It all started with the seemingly innocent sentence:  “Godly femininity is power under control.” Something reared up big (and ugly) inside of me. I balked. I pushed back. I couldn’t get to a happy place. In my group of women I interjected: “Well, couldn’t that be said of masculinity also?” Then, I mouthed off about, being able to control one’s self as a great sign of power, regardless.

I couldn’t follow the intent of the book. I was completely derailed. 

When I came home I was angry. I didn’t even know why.  I tried to understand what was bothering me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I went to bed upset and had a terrible dream about being chased by this half bear and half wild boar creature. It was terrifying. 

Thankfully, I woke up, prayed and read the entire introduction to the book. Then I was able to get back to sleep. When morning finally came I had some new insight.

·         I didn’t like the word femininity because of past connotations.

Men had both ridiculed me and disdained me for the traits of femininity. (See list below)

·         I had let their view of me seep into my identity.

Those ‘lies’ were not God’s view and I needed to repent of aligning with them.

·         I had devalued myself by denying these traits in me.

With those I trust, I should share my needs, expect them to adjust to my needs, and speak up when they don’t. 

These were deep level,  ouchy discoveries for me.  

I needed to feel protected from ridicule, distance and disapproval. I wanted to be loved, accepted, safe, supported and valued. These were core identity issues. I was in a pool of tears before Father God as I let Him reveal His truth to me.

Here’s the list of traits I pondered and assessed to see what significance I truly assigned them: 

Femininity- delicacy, gentleness, empathy, sensitivity, compassion, caring, sweetness, tolerance, deference, and nurturance

 

As I read through the list, considering each quality, I asked Father God to search (and heal) my heart and show me what HE wanted to understand. Here’s what came to me:

·         I can choose any of these traits that feel authentic and God-given for me.

·         If I can value these in others, I can value them in me, too.

·         Although traits like boldness, courage and strength have been my focus, I can give equal value to these traditionally feminine traits.

It was just a casual Bible Study. I wasn’t expecting a major trigger. I had no idea this junk was still lurking around in my heart. Yikes! The initial outburst and anger were bad enough. What if I had never brought this concern before Father God and I had stuffed it away to fester? Wow! That would have messed me up even more.  

That’s emotional baggage for sure! 

Maybe this stirs up an ah-ha moment for you. There could be something just under the surface for you, too, that jabs at your inner person (and maybe makes you a bit crazy). Bringing it before Father God, for His loving understanding, could be an amazing first step. 

Consider this challenge:

·         Do you feel valued by others (especially with your spouse or those in close relationships)?

·         Do you value yourself for who you are, first?

These are some of the heart issues to be healed if you want intimacy to be easier and more enjoyable. Yep, ya gotta be open to this type of discovery and co-laboring with Father God.

Many women carry emotional baggage from past experiences preventing them from enjoying true intimacy. By getting help from the right coach and the right tools, you can control your happiness for the relationship you deserve.

Re-Discover Your True Value and Who God Intended You to Be

Be Heard. Be Understood. Be Loved.

If past pain is preventing you from fully enjoying relationships (as God designed for you), then it’s time for help.

I Can Help.

Let’s set up a call today to find the relationship breakthrough you want. https://calendly.com/mary-19/relationship-breakthrough-session

5 Steps to De-Stress Your Holidays


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Are you done with feeling stuck like a 12 year-old when you go ‘home’ for the holidays?

All those family expectations, and roles we fall into, are draining. Somtimes it happens when we aren’t even aware of it. What if you didn’t have to get drawn into everyone else’s emotional chaos and you could choose how you wanted your family time to go?

You can.

De-Stress the Holidays

Here are 5 practical ways to maintain your peace and reclaim who you want to be.

  1. Practice daily self-care and check-in with your feelings.

    This could look like a five-minute step outside to get a deep breath and release tension. You have to be intentional and continue to validate what’s important to you. It’s okay to meet your own needs.

  2. Bust relationship triggers before they occur so they can’t derail you.

    This means you need to antiicpate Aunt Beth’s caring, but overly inquisitive interest in your love life. (See one-liners below.)

  3. Empower healthy boundaries for your time and energy.

    You don’t have to attend 3 dinners in one day. Even if your family doesn’t understand your new choices, you’re only responsible for you.

  4. Personalize ‘one-liner redirects’ to take the pressure off.

    Responses like, “Thanks for sharing.” “I’ll get back to you.” “What do you think I think about that?” will politely acknowledge the interaction but provide a way for you to not reveal any more than you are comfortable with.

  5. Create your own traditions that support your sense of happiness.

    The holidays (even if you’re going through a big transition) can still be a special time. Find little ways to capture meaningful moments.

Remember, being the authentic you is the best gift you can give yourself. And when you are at peace and fulfilled, that is the best gift you can give eveyone else.

Happy Holidays!

What if You Read ONE New Thing that Changed Your Life Forever?


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Have you ever read or heard something at ‘just the right time’ and it changed your life? 

This audio book did it for me and I hope the idea it sparked will change the lives of hundreds of thousands of women.  Want to hear more? 

My 24/7 mission is to make it easier for women to come forward for healing from sexual wounds.  I pray about this all the time and keep trying new ways to make the first step not so scary. I want women to see beyond the ache, the shame, the stuck lifestyle, and the loss of hope. I want them to know the ultimate healing and restoration that comes from being made new, and  fresh and beautiful through Father God’s love.  

And as I stood at my book table at last Saturday’s conference I saw how difficult it was for women to talk to me because I’m, you know, the ‘sex lady’. If they talk to me it means they have something to say to me. That’s a ‘duh’, but being associated with sex is a definite black/white issue with no gray.

So, that first step is a big one and they’re either ready or NOT ready. 

Usually, I have a couple of interactive boards for them to participate in. There are big questions like: “What brings you the most joy in your relationship?” “If you could put one fear about your relationship behind you, what is it?” These are great starters. Women use little sticky notes and post their answers all over the boards. But my table space was shared, so I wasn’t able to do that. That limited my display to my books.   

All around me vendors were engaging the crowd. Body butter, exchangeable-cover purses, exotic jewelry, flowy dresses… you name it. I was happy for them, of course, but still pondered…

what I could do.  

Then, Monday came and I was in the car for a four-hour road trip. Armed with a selection of snacks and audio books, I started my journey. Well, it didn’t take long to get into Joy Mangano’s story. I saw the movie “Joy” a couple of years ago and knew this book would be the real story.   

She emphasized two things about how she got to where she is today. First of all, from childhood up, she firmly believed- “My Voice Matters.”  Secondly, she was driven to “Make Lives Better”.

These points are foundational. 

As her story of triumph over so many “No’s” and scary obstacles continued, I felt a ROAR rising up within me. New purpose and determination surged inside of me. “Why Not Me?” “Why Can’t I also Come Up with an Amazing Idea?” 

So while rolling down the green landscape of the very-much-still-summer Florida highway, things began to click for me.

My Amazing Idea

A. I want to make it easier for women to take that first step.

B. What if there was something beautiful and intriguing they could do or buy, as evidence of a commitment to themselves to make the journey?   

Hmmm…. And then it happened. 

I have another friend who represents artisans all over the world who are survivors of human trafficking. She buys their products, resells them, and puts the money back into their lives. It’s an amazing! https://thescarletthreadstore.com/    

I had previously talked to her and knew she had artisans who made pieces that were similar to my logo- the infinity hearts. But now I’m thinking… wait a minute, what if… that double heart had a unique and specific meaning? What if it meant… “I value my heart and choose to stand up for myself AND I choose to receive Father God’s love (honor, beauty and wholeness).”  

The two hearts mean- “Love Your Heart. Receive God’s Heart.” 

It’s still in the brainstorming stage, but I’m super pumped. I’ll need to get the exact phrase and marketing piece together, but this could be such a beautiful gift. An inspiring way to give life to yourself.  

When a woman chooses to love her heart (by standing up even through the pain of a sexual wound)  and partner with ALL of Father God’s restoration and transformation… she has her identity, dignity and destiny back. She’s now among the living again.

That, says, “My Voice Matters. My Life is Better.” 

Please stay with me and follow this story to see how many captives we can set free and doors we can open.  It’s time for NO women to remain in her place of sexual wounds.

It’s time for #FreedomNow!

Frustrated Wife Disease and the 3 Mindset Shifts You Need to Overcome it and Get Powerful in Loving You


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If you’re breathing and alive on this planet, frustrations are a given, but sometimes there is a situation where they escalate and need immediate attention. Could that be you in your marriage?

 

What is Frustrated Wife Disease?

1. Not receiving the personalized love and attention you want (includes romance)

2. Being uncomfortable with sexual expectations (in marriage) because of lack of emotional connection

3. Giving up hope he will change or ever do anything different than what you’ve always known

 

Does that ring a bell?

 

Sure, these are legit bummers. As wives, we do have dreams, images of beautiful marriages, and expectations for certain behaviors. But do you know what I noticed? All of those frustrations are about him, his actions (or lack of), and his perceived mindset. Hmmm…

 

Can you control him or his actions… like even one little thing?

 

That would be a “NO!” He is responsible for himself. You are responsible for you. So what can you do?

 

Here’s what you have control over. Here’s what you can do:

1. Act on your choice.

Your choice is either being power-ful or power-less. That’s right. You either choose to control yourself or choose to let others control you. It’s a head-scratcher, I know, but hang with me.

2. Know what you want and how to ask for it.

Does this seem like a ‘no brainer’? “Of course I know what I want!!” But sometimes we let our emotions get in the driver’s seat and take control, to the point that the issue is clouded and we don’t know what the problem really is or what we want to be different. And even after all of that we need to know how to put into words he will get… to stop an argument even before it happens. Yesindeedy, the plot thickens. There is more depth to this idea than meets the eye.

3. Face the problem.

When you gain truth about where your relationship really is (not just where you are hurt, or think he is wrong, or the what ‘always’ happens) then, and only then, can you find a specific solution. That will build trust and vulnerability, which leads to intimacy- both emotional and sexual.

 

Look at that!! You are so powerful! You can truly impact your marriage right where you are, regardless on ‘him’. Now, I’m not saying husbands should do nothing, but if you are only waiting on him to make the difference in your marriage, well, you have given away your power.

 

When is it ever a good idea to give away your power?

 

Exactly! The answer is… NEVER.

 

So, if you are on board for becoming more powerful in who you are, then I have the most perfect program for you. It’s called “Healed and Happy Intimacy in Marriage”. I will help you to-

~Heal your heart from past sexual wounds and lies

~See your identity in God (loving yourself through His eyes)

~Create a plan to share ‘you’ and grow the understanding in your marriage

 

Wowser! That’s amazing! But there’s more.

 

I’m offering this at an Introductory price- 50% OFF- the regular price of $497.

For a spectacular $247 you get:

~4-weeks Healed & Happy Intimacy in Marriage program

~ (4) 1-hour private sessions

~4 weeks of communication and relationship skills, specific to where you are RIGHT NOW

~4 weeks of unlimited email access, for those urgent “Yikes!” moments when you want to keep your new skills fresh in the midst of… you guessed it, Frustration

 

So, what are you waiting for? Sign-Ups begin on Oct 4. There are only 5 spots.

Let’s set-up a call so you find out how this will meet what you want now. Plus, as a bonus, I’ll give you a Self-Value & Peace Growing Tool to help you TODAY!

And… I have Payment Plans.

Sign up for a call here:    https://calendly.com/mary-19/relationship-breakthrough-session