If you knew what you wanted… what you really, really wanted… how would that help you?
Is it all about getting your way? Is it to control other people and make your life easier, even happier? Is that the connotation we have sometimes when it comes to people freely expressing themselves and their requests?
Unfortunately, knowing what you want AND how to ask for it can be seen as a negative characteristic. But, when used in the best possible way, it’s a win-win-win. It actually produces self-confidence which makes everyone involved not only more comfortable but also more productive!
Let’s dive into that a bit more.
Being assertive means-
- I know what’s going on inside of me.
- I’ve identified my feelings.
- If I have a need, I can ask for it intentionally.
Just think about how much peace is created when we take responsibility for our needs (either by fulfilling them ourselves or with others). No more wondering what’s bothering you, how to get past a yucky feeling, or shutting down due to being overwhelmed.
And in personal relationships- how welcoming would it be to squelch the drama and just have meaningful conversations with reduced fear and a common goal of respecting and supporting one another?!! Wow! Such a tremendous goal!
Knowing what you want… what you really, really want… transforms your communication into something filled with PEACE, CLARITY, and RESPECT.
Stay tuned to find out ‘why we don’t usually choose assertiveness’, and the ‘step by step process to develop a healthy assertiveness lifestyle”. And, a boundaries and love languages combo to bring it all together. Parts II, III and IV to follow.