There are two sides to enduring hardship together.
Just sharing the same experience doesn’t automatically guarantee bonding. If you don’t openly express what’s going on inside of you, yet assume your spouse has the exact same perspective, you can wrongly attach deep feelings to them. Without joint, significant and mutual investment in the relationship, you may engage in a false intimacy.
This could surprise you tremendously, cause a huge disappointment and division, and leave you with greater hurt and loneliness.
To achieve a benefit from a shared hardship, intentional action must happen.
1. Identify your own feelings (fears, hopes, and authentic ebb and flow)
2. Share in a nurturing environment (free from belittling and full of trust)
3. Create acceptance for others to express (vulnerability and grace)
You talk about what you are experiencing during the nitty-gritty, listening and welcoming your spouse’s thoughts, feelings, and needs, also. Remember, their perspective will include new and different ideas.
The power of the bonding, though, happens when you recall these experiences on the OTHER side.
You verbalize the struggles, the choices, and the mishaps. There will be no reason to hide what didn’t go well, because it was already shared in the light.
When you bare your soul in a safe and secure relationship, you create a fierce union. Every ‘remember when’ story reinforces your past journey, present commitment and future trajectory. It’s more than words. It’s a testimony of your faith. It’s an alignment with heaven.
God is for your marriage.
You can co-create with Him by putting feet to His promise of blessing. Bring ‘oneness’ through one intentional and simple step of intimacy.