Don’t expect Valentine’s Day to fix your hurt!
Neither one of you can make-up for sharp words or walls built for self-protection by one dinner out or one array of flowers.
Pretending it didn’t happen (for that one day) is not reality either.
What you could say is: Hey, I know things aren’t great right now, but I still want to be with you. I want to make a place for ‘us’.
Then, agree on a time to have a talk about what’s going on – a different time than your Date Night.
It’s amazing how that simple act will diffuse anxiety and then you really can enjoy (at least a bit more) the expected Valentine’s Day activity.
Nobody is a mind-reader.
~You don’t know his fears (if what you see is anger).
~He doesn’t know your hurt (if what you show him is distance).
Your goal is NOT 💯 agreement.
Your goal is understanding.
Understanding only comes through connecting with intentional words and your whole person.
The good news is: you can be heard, understood and loved.
It just takes a willingness to heal and a commitment to learn communication skills.
God’s love is limitless. HE’ll walk you through every step.
To build connection in simple steps you can do daily, try the 30-Day Marriage Challenge. You can find in in the Free Resource section of my website https://marywhitmanortiz.com/books-and-resources
If you’d like more one-to-one support, the Love Sense Questionnaire and Coaching Session is amazing. I’m offering it as a Valentine’s Day Special Feb 19, 2020. Check that out here
Remember, you can be heard, understood and loved.