The 5 sexual expressions, written by Dr. Douglas Weiss, are as ground-breaking to sexual intimacy as the 5 love languages are to relationships. By recognizing your own tendencies in these objective descriptions, you will reduce your anxiety. There’s nothing like knowing you are not alone, your views are not ‘crazy’, and you can make all of the changes you desire.
PLEASURE as a Sexual Expression
Do you enjoy learning about new techniques, like where to put your hands and what activities to combine together? Do you see sexuality as an unlimited, multidimensional and ever-growing experience? Do you want to be understood and explored as a whole person with an entire range of sexual pleasure with your spouse? This might be your innate expression.
PATIENCE as a Sexual Expression
Would your sexual experience be even better if there was a designated space, both in time set aside and in a very private location? Is the type of touch you like very light, almost barely there and possibly with an extended time for foreplay? Have you preferred an orgasmic encounter that’s based on consistency and reliability of motion and stimulation? This might be your innate expression.
A quick pushback on the name of this expression: out of the 5, this word doesn’t have the same positive connotation. Compare it yourself- fun, desire, pleasure, patience, and acceptance/celebration. Because of that and, in conjunction with the description, I propose we rename it to: gentleness. That seems more appealing than ‘patience’ but it still communicates a similar feeling. What do you think?
ACCEPTANCE/CELEBRATION as a Sexual Expression
How does the thought of ‘all of me’ loving and being known by you, speak to you? How does it feel when your spouse doesn’t just ‘love’ you but also likes you and is proud of you? If given the choice, would you pick words of value and gratitude as a part of your sexual experience? This might be your innate expression.
All of these expressions also have immature counterparts. It’s typically selfish and even demanding. They may confuse sex for love. This unhealthy version could have been prompted by neglect, trauma, sexual abuse or addiction. But by using this information to grow in your understanding (as an individual first), you can still make the changes you want to… Upgrade Your Sex Life.
ROADBLOCKS to Healthy Sexual Expression
Stay tuned for the next post about possible Roadblocks that have gotten you stuck in your process. You may not be aware of past experiences that have hurt you. You may have buried them deep, but know they’re there. It’s time for your healing.
Your Personal Pushback
Petrified? That’s the most common feeling when talking about sex. Maybe you are truly interested in learning more, but it just makes you uncomfortable. You know it’s stirring up lots of memories and mixed feelings. The thought of really diving deep (no matter how much you need to) is more than you can do on your own. It’s going to be okay. That’s what I’m here for.
I once was in your shoes, stuck in a cycle of sexual dysfunction. All of the components were there- other people’s behavior, mixed messages from the church, and my own low sense of myself. I was a mess for sure.
From Invisible to Living Out Loud
Father God walked me through a process of healing. I went from feeling invisible to living out loud. I can help you on your journey, too, as a woman or as a couple. Together, we can find your way to being heard, understood and loved.
Don’t let your past rob your future.
Set up a call today to see how you can Upgrade Your Sex Life, in a holistic way- spirit, soul and body. https://calendly.com/mary-19/relationship-breakthrough-session