It happens. Times with family. Acquaintances who are pushy. Fan crush without the relationship.
Use this Boundary Checklist to see whose words have permission to affect your heart.
1. Do you have a history of a good relationship?
2. Do you trust they have your best interest in mind?
3. Is it a two-way street; you both give and receive?
4. Do you have similar values?
5. Do they walk in integrity?
If the answer is NO to 3 or more, find a loving way to NOT receive their information and/or influence.
Try these “I hear you, but…” replies.
1. Thank you for thinking of me.
2. I appreciate your time to connect.
3. It’s kind of you to reach out to me.
4. I’m seeking what God wants to do in this.
5. I hear what you’re saying.
6. I’m looking for the BIG picture.
7. There are many ways to handle the situation.
8. There are lots of layers to this.
9. I’m not in a rush about anything.
10. Thank you for sharing.
REMEMBER, they want to engage you.
If you start reacting to the thoughts they shared, you will get drawn in. Then, it becomes confusing. It seems like you want to receive MORE. They will misunderstand it.
Your BEST plan is to relay a single comment, excuse yourself, and WALK AWAY. You must exit. You must LEAVE the conversation. That is the toughest part, but it is the most honoring to you both.
Walk away to clearly set the tone.
Allow into your heart and life, the words and actions you trust. The safe circles can change and be adjusted at times, but it always includes relationships based on respect.